It was the middle of the night and I couldn’t sleep. Amidst the struggle, knowing I would be getting up when Phoebe did regardless of how many hour I lost now, I cast about in every direction for a path to sleep. I read, I watched TV, I tried to figure out my life, I reached back into the dark corners of my tired mind for ways to relax. Nothing.
Then I dropped it all. Cheri Huber says when you have suffered enough you will come to practice. That moment felt like that. My effort to practice can get in the way of really practicing. It’s simple really. Drop everything and be with this breath. Just this breath. It was such a relief.
I tell women in labor to stay with this breath – when they’re contracting and when they’re in a break. It’s so pressing to cope moment by moment that staying present is clearly the way to go. But when we’re going about our day to day lives it can feel useful, right even, to be anywhere but here. It is possible, I know, and joyous to bring this present moment practice into our daily lives, moment by moment.
The Practice
I am working on dropping the thoughts and coming back to this breath – just as I do in meditation – throughout my day. I want to know – what will a whole day spent present with the breath as I go about the regular business of the day be like?